When my son was 5, I remember him riding his bike full speed down the street, impulsively I yelled out “Slow down….you’re going to fall!!” As soon as I said it, I wish I could retract my words but it was too late.  Swiftly and without thinking, I was thwarting his ability to take risks in life.

Risk taking is vital for kids. Kalen Smith of Young Entrepreneur states that “the early years of someones life are a test for their propensity to become an entrepreneur.” But this isn’t the only reason kids should be taught to take risks. Risk taking helps kids carve out a life they really want.

After all….

  • Learning and personal growth require taking risks
  • Risk taking is a vital skill in exceptional leadership
  • Risks taking encourages kids to think bigger and expansively
  • The occasional (but inevitable) set back that accompanies risk, builds character and emotional strength

It’s unfortunate how obsessed we’ve all become with “security.”   We  want our kids to have courage, to be bold in their dreams and have adventurous spirits. Parents must showcase, you can’t play it safe when you really want something.

The process of learning, growing and stretching the bounds of who we are—has a built-in positive feedback loop. With each new discovery, each lesson learned, we become larger and more complete than we were before, and we gain confidence that we can continue to grow and learn. The process itself is like a self-esteem escalator, moving higher and faster all the time.  Children need to actively explore and discover the world around them and learn to take calculated risks.  The more they can do, the better they feel about themselves.

One of my favorite books, which opened my eyes to how fearful we’ve become  is Jean Liedloff’s, the Continuum Concept.   Jean spent 2 years in the Amazon rain forest with a remote native tribe relatively untouched by the West. Amazingly, she found that very young children, were often left to walk around fast moving rivers, deep well holes and 4 year olds were even allowed to hold machetes. She noticed that the elders in the tribe did not panic when the kids were near these dangers and guess what? The kids did not get hurt.

In this tribe, all elders held a belief that the young child was “innately social, cooperative and had a strong self-preservation instinct.” They trusted that the child observed the elders, wanted to remain safe and would follow the behaviours of the group. They never held an expectation the child would fall, cut themselves or drown…and they didn’t.  No fears, stress or worry was verbally or energetically put in the space.

So I started bringing my consciousness to phrases like these:

Be careful….you will fall
Don’t do that….you’ll get hurt
Watch out….you’ll cut yourself
Don’t play with that….you will burn yourself
Let me hold it….you’re going to spill it
Get off that….you’ll kill yourself
If you put your finger in there….you could die
Climb down…. you will fall

These phrases, no doubt backed by fierce love for our young ones, still serve to covertly eat away at their desire to take risk and instill them with fear. We pound it into kids that they can’t do something without disaster ensuing and we inevitably create a reality they live into.  Follow that up with a “I told you s0” or “You should have listened” and we have sealed their fate.

So, where does that leave us? Should we say nothing when we find our kids speeding on their bike or climbing to high for our comfort?

No, but instead of adding a negative outcome with our words, we can  simply make the request.  For example, instead of saying “Climb down…you will fall”, just say  “Climb down.”  Encouraging experiences minus negative reinforcement, promotes a ‘mindful courage’ and is a great way to generate internal direction,  which helps kids build trust from within and contributes to better choices.  Something we can all be happy about.

Only a person who risks is free.” -Anonymous

To Your Child’s Success,

Rhea xx

p.s If you like this article…. go ahead and share it and let me know your thought on risk-taking.

 

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14 Comments

  1. I never thought I would agree with this opinion, but I’m starting to see things differently

  2. I find it useful to assess the situation, anticipate a worse case scenario and then put myself in a position to mitigate any danger. If I can do this without giving my child a warning then I find it gives them freedom to try new things. For example, if my son is speeding down a hill on a bike. I try to judge the gradient of the hill to assess how badly he may be hurt . I may run down the hill ahead of him, if the gradient is not too steep. That way, I can be ready to catch the bike or to comfort my son quickly and encourage him to try again. If the gradient is steeper , I would run along side the bike and hold on to the handle to slow the speed of the bike as it goes.

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